I want to begin by saying escapism itself isn’t unhealthy. It’s actually completely normal, and we all do it. It helps us from burning out more quickly than we would without it. It allows us to come back to an initially overwhelming problem with a better attitude about it. Escapism can allow us to reconnect with ourselves and things we care about as well like games, comics, and TV shows.
So when does escapism become a “bad” thing? If you find yourself ignoring or avoiding issues in your life, then you are on teetering on the edge of escapism becoming unhealthy. You are using your hobbies, interests, and creative outlets as a way to not deal with whatever issues are going on in your life in that moment. Escapism is meant to be temporary. When is becomes a constant part of your life, escapism is no longer considered an escape.
Last year, I was inspired by Erin from Girly Geek Blog’s article on denial to write about my experience with escapism and how it isn’t always good for our mental health. People use escapism every day though books, music, television, games, comics, fandoms, etc. to distract ourselves from the stress and hardships of every day life. It’s a way to relax after a long day. It’s a way to escape into something else for just a little while. The real trick is how to come back after escaping for so long.
Continue reading “When Escapism Isn’t a Good Thing: 8 Ways to Make Escapism Healthy”
Every once in a while, I say something kind of funny or something pretty deep. It’s not often, but it happens. During a conversation the other day when I turned to one of my favorite CMP’s (Communications Major People) for some advice concerning a co-worker’s wife, I said this gem:
I’m trapped in a box of politeness and am afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Wow. If the way I approached people was summed up in a single sentence, this would be it. I have a strong desire to be “liked.” It kills my vibe when someone is upset with me, and I constantly think about what I could have done to make them not mad. This goes for dealing with people in public too, like Pesky Salesperson at Mid-Range Store.
Continue reading “Breaking Out of the Box (of Politeness)”
Everything that has fans, will undoubtedly have toxic fans. Toxic fans can feel inescapable when you are just trying to enjoy a chat about the latest K-POP music video in a dedicated forum. What can be worse is to find a sudden influx of hate on a comment you left about being excited for the newest season of an anime. We’ve all experienced toxicity from our fandoms in one way or another.
Thank you to Michelle at A Geek Girl’s Guide for suggesting this topic for my Mental Health in the Geek Community series! Michelle asked me to write about how to survive the toxicity of fans online which is honestly becoming more and more of an issue across social media. Most recently, Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker caused quite an uproar in the community and has been the latest movie of the series to divide fans; however, this article isn’t about the Skywalker Saga or the toxicity in the Star Wars community, but rather about what we can do to keep our love of our fandoms without sacrificing our mental health to others who create this toxicity within our beloved fandoms.
How can we deal with the toxicity without giving up our fandoms?
Continue reading “When Fandoms Take All of Your Spoons: 4 Ways to Deal with Toxic Fandoms”
In 2018, I started seeing a therapist. I initially wanted to see someone for my anxiety that had only gotten worse since Alec arrived in October of 2017. I didn’t know what to expect during my first visit, but my therapist ended up being exactly who I needed. On top of anxiety, I was diagnosed with PTSD. This year, we realized I also have depression.
I’ve been working hard during my mental health journey, learning how to cope and working through my trauma. There have been several “lessons” that have been helping me along the way; some people may call these alternative thoughts or affirmations. They have greatly helped me almost daily. In an effort to keep breaking the stigma around mental health, I wanted to share these alternative thoughts with you on the blog today.
Continue reading “5 Lessons from Therapy”
It’s been a rough couple of months, my friends.
I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression. I shouldn’t have found it as shocking as I did, but here we are. After uncovering my stuck points and working on my triggers, I have found depression lurking under the surface of my PTSD and anxiety. I am back in therapy full time to tackle these new obstacles, and, I’m not going lie, I am struggling.
Depression and anxiety have been weighing me down. October was an anniversary of trauma but also the anniversary of the best day of my life. I’ve felt pulled in different directions. I’ve questioned myself, my career, my friendships/relationships, and my social media presence. I have struggled with trying to find what is right for me while also trying to discern actual unhappiness and fulfillment from my depression and anxiety. So far, I haven’t been successful.
I want to focus on what I haven’t questioned, too, though. I have never questioned my marriage. I have never questioned going to the gym. I have never questioned going to therapy. I have never questioned my blog or YouTube channel. Those things genuinely make me happy every day. I wish I had more time to give the attention to the things that make me happy.
I’m going to be focusing more on myself, more so than I have ever before. I’m making this an accountability post of sorts. From now on, I’m going to eat better without obsessing over the number on the scale. My goal is to be stronger. I’m going to do things that make me happy. I’m going to find fulfillment in hobbies that aren’t my career. I’m going to make peace with my path changing and my journey taking a route I’m not familiar with. I’m going to focus on my mental health so I can be my best self for me and my husband. I’m going to make time to spend with him and our dog.
October is behind me. November has better things coming my way. I’m putting it into the universe and manifesting the rest of 2019 to be better.
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We’ve talked about burn out, and we’ve even talked about self care for geeks and gamers, but today, I’m about to get very honest with you about real self care. There’s no Lush bath bombs or cute animal face masks here. It’s just me and my journey to finally figuring out what makes me personally feel the best. It probably shouldn’t have taken this long, but here we are!
Continue reading “10 Ways to Practice Real Self Care”
Back in 2014, I covered What being an introvert ACTUALLY means when A Geeky Gal was still coming into her own. It was originally ported over from my very first attempt at blogging before I decided to rebrand and become what is now A Geeky Gal. It was honestly quite a nostalgic trip to go back and re-read that 5+ year old blog post. You may be wondering why in the world I’m choosing to revisit it now. Well, Angie of Backlog Crusader kindly requested a special Mental Health in the Geek Community segment on being an introvert, and I am more than happy to oblige on a subject like this!
You’ll also notice some featured quotes from fellow introverts scattered throughout this post. I asked Twitter for negative quotes or phrases that they have heard pertaining to being an introvert themselves. These are real quotes from real people. Thank you to all of you who helped contribute to this post with your own unique points of view and experiences. It really helped shape this post into an honest look at what it actually means to be an introvert.
Continue reading “What Being An Introvert ACTUALLY Means (revisited)”