Monday Musings: You and Me

You and Me

I know exactly what I will find when I open this door. Part of me is terrified to see her. The other part welcomes this reunion with her. It’s been long overdue. I can’t put it off any longer so I turn the doorknob and let the door swing open. And there she is. Sitting cross-legged on a bed too tall for her, a book in her lap, and tears in her eyes. I can’t fight the urge to hug her, to give her the affection I needed back then. Holding her is painful, but I need this and she needs this.

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Monday Musings: Sparks

Trigger Warning: this flash fiction contains descriptions of domestic violence and abuse. Please seek help if you are safe and able to do so.


Sparks

I can still taste how the blood filled my mouth that night and the sting he left across my forehead. It was a dull but slowly pounding pain beneath my skin. My eyes filled with tears for the millionth time that night, but I would not let them fall. I deserved it, didn’t I?

******

He was the kind of guy every girl wanted. He had a kind smile, pretty eyes, and could play the guitar. It made the girls swoon, some obviously and some secretly, like myself. I wasn’t in love, but he was a dream that I knew I’d never have. I was okay with that.

I was the quiet one. The first year of high school, I didn’t have many friends, but I slowly accumulated more as time went on. I dated a little, but never got in too deep. There were no sparks, no heart pounding moments, just me and the other person. 

But then again, I close myself off. Always have. I lose myself in my art. That is my hideaway, my safe haven. And that was exactly what I was doing when he and I made first contact.

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Monday Musings: Long Distance

Long Distance

Sometimes I can’t remember all the days spent without you in my arms.

Those days when I would fall asleep
with a laptop on my pillow
so I could imagine sleeping beside you
feel so far away now.

Those nights when we would stay up late,
whispering softly into the phone,
so we could squeeze in just a few more
moments before sleep would overtake us.

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Monday Musings: Ice Cream Sandwiches

Ice Cream Sandwiches

I loved to go to your house even though it was an everyday thing. I could always reach for you, and you would meet me halfway as if by instinct. You would hold me, rock me until I was too big to fit in your lap anymore. You’d make me breakfast before school and you’d be there first thing in the afternoon to pick me up and take me to your house. There’ so many little moments we have shared, but there’s a few that stick out to me. Like ice cream sandwiches.

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