Spoilers! Mental Health Update

It’s been a rough couple of months, my friends.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with depression. I shouldn’t have found it as shocking as I did, but here we are. After uncovering my stuck points and working on my triggers, I have found depression lurking under the surface of my PTSD and anxiety. I am back in therapy full time to tackle these new obstacles, and, I’m not going lie, I am struggling.

Depression and anxiety have been weighing me down. October was an anniversary of trauma but also the anniversary of the best day of my life. I’ve felt pulled in different directions. I’ve questioned myself, my career, my friendships/relationships, and my social media presence. I have struggled with trying to find what is right for me while also trying to discern actual unhappiness and fulfillment from my depression and anxiety. So far, I haven’t been successful.

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I want to focus on what I haven’t questioned, too, though. I have never questioned my marriage. I have never questioned going to the gym. I have never questioned going to therapy. I have never questioned my blog or YouTube channel. Those things genuinely make me happy every day. I wish I had more time to give the attention to the things that make me happy.

I’m going to be focusing more on myself, more so than I have ever before. I’m making this an accountability post of sorts. From now on, I’m going to eat better without obsessing over the number on the scale. My goal is to be stronger. I’m going to do things that make me happy. I’m going to find fulfillment in hobbies that aren’t my career. I’m going to make peace with my path changing and my journey taking a route I’m not familiar with. I’m going to focus on my mental health so I can be my best self for me and my husband. I’m going to make time to spend with him and our dog.

October is behind me. November has better things coming my way. I’m putting it into the universe and manifesting the rest of 2019 to be better. 

Sig_WP Sig

cw1

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32 thoughts on “Spoilers! Mental Health Update

  1. Bless you. I suffer from the same disorders, and know how challenging they can be. My writing is the only thing that keeps me feeling whole. Please feel free to reach out to me should you need talk.

    I’m so proud of you for coming forward. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It really is an illness.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It took me far too long in life before realizing all I really wanted was to simply enjoy myself( things, experiences, moments) and see the beauty in life….whether it’s just a pizza night or playing and writing video games. The simple concept you mentioned of finding fulfillment in your hobbies and interests instead career/money is what certainly helped me…wishing you the best! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I know how hard this is, and I hope you find the help you need in therapy. I am also in full time therapy and have a lot to work through. It takes time, and progress is slow, but it does happen. I was tasked with researching hope this week. Would you be interested in doing a guest post on what hope means to you in games, books, movies, art? Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m. Diagnosed. Ugh. That’s a rough one. Depression and anxiety. If you need someone I’m here. I know you won’t because I got those messages too and it just feel weirds to research out sometimes but know you’re not alone. Me too girl. Me too.
    Sk

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I actually found your post so inspiring, I admire your motivation to get better, to focus on the positive and to work on yourself. Don’t get too caught up by all your questions, and use your time to strengthen all the wonderful things you are able to do in your life (smiling, loving, eating, moving your body)
    You have my full support!! 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

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