Inside me is still my younger self.
She’s alive and breathing.
And not very sure of herself.
Nor her small fragile feelings.
She’s still blond and blue-eyed
With her small dress and bows.
Her momma still sighs
And her nanny still sews.
She curls up in bed late at night,
Her stuffed animal tucked in,
With tears in her blue eyes,
Wondering where daddy is.
He isn’t here or there
And he’s not with her.
He could be anywhere,
But he’s still not here.
She misses him holding her in the air,
She misses how he’d kiss her head,
She misses how he’d mess up her hair,
And at night tuck her into bed.
All that is gone now as the years have passed.
I’ve grown up on the outside,
Living each day like it were my last,
But I’m still that little girl on the inside.
He’s crushed my heart, smothered it and threw it.
It’s been hid away only to be found again.
He can’t get rid of it as much as he wishes he could.
If he never wanted it, he shouldn’t have made it then!
I’ll always be that little girl on the inside.
Screaming for his attention.
Wishing daddy would come home and kiss me goodnight.
Only to be disappointed again.