It’s been 10 months since my first weight-loss post here on the blog and about 15 months since I started my weight-loss journey. It’s been quite a ride so I wanted to take a moment and share what I’ve been going through with all of you.
When I first started my journey, I kept everything really hidden. I didn’t talk about it much except on Instagram where I took pictures of my meals and did a few progress pictures. I really dived into the online weight-loss community though. I found forums that welcomed my questions. I even found a safe space for short girls who were tackling having such a small amount of daily calories.
Those places saved me.
When it finally came out that I was trying to lose weight (and succeeding), I had everyone blowing up my phone or talking to me about what they thought. I found solace in logging into my favorite online forums and being able to read about others struggling and succeeding. I got meal ideas, motivation, validation, and more from my safe spaces. The community is so welcoming that I’m still a very active reader and poster.
And why shouldn’t I be active? I’m not done. I’ve lost 41 pounds in 15 months and still have 18 pounds to go before I’m ready to try maintaining my goal weight. My highest weight was 184 pounds. Today I weigh in at 143 pounds. I’ve come a long way.
Losing weight has given me new confidence in myself. In fact, I bought my first two piece swim suit from Cupshe (and I’ve never worn a bikini in my life). I also stepped up to finally address my mental health. I’ve been way more active than ever before. I’m talking about walking 3 to 6 mile walks once a week, keeping up with Couch to 5K, and hitting my step goal every week day. I won’t say I feel like a completely different person, but I feel like an even better version of my best self.
Losing weight has also brought on new challenges though. I find it hard to forgive myself when I slip up, and sometimes I slip up for a few days before I get back to counting calories. This actually led me to let my over 400 day streak lapse on My Fitness Pal. I found that I was logging foods to meet my caloric deficit then eating over it, just so I could keep the streak going.
I also have a hard time with buying myself new clothes because I think “I still have 20 pounds to go; this shirt won’t fit then!” I just want to roll my eyes at myself, because I need new clothes that actually fit my new body now. I’m slowly letting myself buy things at the thrift store to help me feel like I’m not wasting money so I can still have clothes that fit me.
And now I have something new to tackle.
With our wedding coming up in less than 60 days, I have to maintain my current wait to fit into my wedding dress. Thankfully, I bought it 30 pounds ago so it needed to be taken in by a skilled seamstress. I’ve been fitted now, and she told me I couldn’t lose more than 5 pounds now if I still want my dress to fit me. Should be easy right?
Well, my brain went “That means EAT EVERYTHING!” and I did for a few days. I managed to get a hold of my eating, and did very little actual gaining. I can tell when I reach my goal weight that maintaining is going to be a whole other game. I will be able to eat more, and it’ll become another careful balance of watching what I eat until I become accustomed to eating that amount of food again.
With that in mind, I’ve decided to finally separate my Instagram account into “blog” and “real life.” My meggsngrits account name has been changed to “ageekygal” for ease of transitioning. I will no longer be posting my health and wellness posts there. Instead, I’ve started a new account under my old account name “meggsngrits” where you can find all of my more personal posts including my weight loss journey.
I’m choosing to separate these accounts for a few reasons. As a blogger, I’m getting more attention from companies that I want to work with. I’d like to streamline my current IG to fit within my blog’s brand. My non-scale/scale victories, food posts, and Couch to 5K stories don’t mesh well with that. I also want to have a separate personal space for me to put whatever I want on there including pictures of my chihuahua Padme, wedding crap, honeymoon posts, etc. This doesn’t mean I won’t leak “real life” into my blog’s IG. If I think it’s geeky and that my followers would like to see it, I’ll definitely share.
It seems a little crazy now that I’ve put it out there like that. Everything is a learning process though so we’ll just have to wait and see if separating my personal life from my blog life actually works. I’m still learning how to use social media to my advantage (Sorry Twitter; I’m still a noob.) and implementing my life into social media as I see fit, and I’ve learned a lot while trying to get this new healthy life style down.
So far, I’ve learned to forgive myself when I screw up and eat too much, don’t meet my step count, or miss a run. It can be challenging not to beat myself up for “failing,” but this is a journey and not a race. A year ago, I would have laughed if you said I would be jogging three times a week. Progress is still progress no matter how small or non-scale related.
This year has been an incredible journey. From getting married, tackling my health, and coming to terms with my mental health, I’ve grown so much as a person. I’m excited to see my weight loss journey to the end so I can be healthy and the very best version of myself. Not just for my spouse and family, but for me. This journey is mine, and I will come out victorious in the end.